In the words of the noted philosopher Jeremy Clarkson,

What could POSSIBLY go wrong?”

Darwin's Thunderdome

A new sport, known to its North Las Vegas-based creators as tactical fast draw, is set to make its Jan. 31 debut.

“You’ll get two points for a head shot and one point for anything to the (body) vest,” fast draw inventor and former bounty hunter Nephi Oliva said. “You can score a maximum of 12 points, but there’s no time limit, so it’s almost like a boxing match with bullets.”

Oliva has been kicking around the idea of starting a fast draw league for years but had to wait until this month to get a firearms instruction certificate needed to handle “Simunition,” the plastic-tipped, paint-filled training ammunition to be used by fast draw’s gunslingers.

This is such a bad idea, I hardly know where to start, but let’s begin with the “entrepreneur, songwriter and marketing mastermind” who created the sport, who describes himself as a “Musician, Songwriter, Arranger, Promoter, Artist Manager, Expert Bounty Hunter” on his company’s website and is most noted for founding “Nevada Pigeon Control, a humane society dedicated to providing humane solutions for citywide pigeon problems. Nevada Pigeon Control is currently the largest pigeon control organization in Nevada and is preparing to launch a national supply company to allow methods, tools, and formulations created by Oliva to go global.”

Well a background in controlling pigeon poop would explain where this idea came from.

H/T to Phil Wong for the heads-up.

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