About That "Gun Violence" Phrase…

I decided to do a test to see just how violent guns really are. For the last week, I’ve been taunting my guns: I’ve humiliated them by adding on accessories from Tapco, yelled all manner of insults at them, (“Oh yeah, well, you’re so ugly, yo momma was a Hi-Point!!”), even punched them right in the muzzle (which only hurt my hand).

None of this had any effect: My guns just sat there and did nothing. I can only conclude one of two things:

  1. My guns are pacifists.
  2. There is no such thing as “gun violence”.

I’m going with #2 for now, until the .gov gives a lot of money to research this further, that is…